First World Feminism

A plus sized model dances with a “normal” sized...

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:10:00 -0500

A plus sized model dances with a “normal” sized model in PLUS Model Magazine’s January issue. Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less.

My Op Ed in The Christian Science Monitor About Sexist Television

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:01:00 -0500

My Op Ed in The Christian Science Monitor About Sexist Television:

Happy 39th Birthday Roe Vs. Wade

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:40:00 -0500

It’s Blog for Choice Day 2012.

Reproductive rights are some of the most important rights American women have but the war on women has shown us that they are not guaranteed.

If you haven’t been keeping up, here is a list of ten ways in which Republicans are attacking women.

And here is a simple chart explaining why the right to have an abortion is still so important. Short version: Women will get abortions whether or not abortion is legal. But illegal, unsafe abortions will kill them. (We know this to be true from all the years that abortion wasn’t legal and safe.)

Caring about life means caring about women’s lives.

Relatedly, I really wish that any American who identified her/himself as “pro-life” would prove it by adopting a starving child. In Sub-Saharan Africa alone, one in eight children dies before the age of five due to malnourishment. Imagine how much of an effect pro-lifers could have on human life worldwide if they spent their money feeding impoverished children instead of attacking American women.

Sign the petitions, elect pro-choice candidates, stay informed. Keep abortion safe and legal.

The Magical New Beauty Product That Fixes All Flaws and Solves...

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:17:00 -0500

The Magical New Beauty Product That Fixes All Flaws and Solves All Problems.

What's Wrong With "Marrying Down"?

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 16:30:00 -0500

Sady Doyle wrote a great article about the ways in which women journalists writing about feminism, like The Atlantic’s Kate Bolick, still do so from a wealthy, white perspective. They “focus on the ladies’s-magazine variety of female concerns,” she writes, “motherhood, marriage, dating.”

Doyle takes issue with Bolick’s idea that only wealthy women are “literate” enough to care about women’s progress. She also takes issue with the idea that working class women are the enemy of wealthy women because their lack of ambition might be less intimidating to successful men.

Bolick seems concerned not that straight women will miss out on marriage, but that upper-middle-class women will have to “marry down.” She equates job attainment with desirability. She tells us what “we” could learn from “the African-American community” (implying that “we,” her readers, aren’t part of it).

I agree with Doyle’s points, but can’t help wondering why “marrying down” is still a thing. It reminds me of an article I published in YourTango almost two years ago now, called “Skip the Soul Mate, Find a Trophy Husband.” In a world with true gender equality, it doesn’t matter who makes the money or takes care of the kids. Successful women would choose their mates for the same reasons that successful men choose theirs. From my article:

Men who are accomplished will often settle for a wife who is attractive and pleasant, but not an intellectual match. A man doesn’t need a partner to validate him, so it doesn’t matter if her brains don’t measure up to his… Women want their partner to have it all. If [they] were to look for a less significant significant other, might [their] dating pool widen?

The feminist movement never equated “having it all” with having a wealthy spouse. If anything, we were supposed to replace the need for wealthy spouses with our own hard earned cash (see Gloria Steinem’s quote on becoming the men we wanted to marry). Men don’t fret about marrying down. Even if it’s obvious that a guy’s hot wife is only with him for his money, he’ll somehow turn it into a source of pride.

The idea that, across classes, women have to compete for the same “good” men or else they’ll have to (shudder) marry down means that no matter how accomplished a woman is, she still needs a man to validate her.

Jessica Valenti: Why The Washington Post's new lady blog is wrong for women

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:45:30 -0500

Jessica Valenti: Why The Washington Post's new lady blog is wrong for women:

jessicavalenti:

Here’s the thing: I will always want more women’s (and feminist) voices in the mainstream media, particularly in politics. There’s an overwhelming byline gender gap and that needs to change. But The Washington Post’s new lady blog, “She the People,” is not a step in the right direction….

Feminist Ryan Gosling

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:25:00 -0500

Feminist Ryan Gosling :

Depression and Anxiety

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 19:16:00 -0500

Giulietta Masina in Federico Fellini’s “Nights of Cambria”

Women are more likely to experience depression and anxiety than men. One theory about this is that women are more likely to express these feelings than men. My personal theory is that men have lower standards for happiness than women so they’re less likely to think of depression as an abnormal negative emotion. But that’s a different blog post. Whatever the reason, at some point most women will deal with feelings of depression and anxiety, and when that happens, the following links might be helpful:

Six tips on how to stop feeling super anxious and worried about everything all the time

I love the idea of creating a set “worry period” everyday.

Six tips on how to stop feeling so depressed you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning (or ever)

This covers everything from how much sleep to get to what kind of food to eat to how to challenge negative thinking.

How to talk to someone who might be clinically depressed

This is an important one for friends and family members of depressives. One tip for dealing with a depressed person is to be specific about a way in which you’re going to help her. For example, instead of saying, “Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you,” try saying, “I’m going to bring dinner to your house at 7:30pm tonight.”

Depression and anxiety aren’t all or nothing states of mind, so learning how to cope with negative feelings can keep us on the positive side of the mental health spectrum.

A 2012 New Year's Resolution: Help Three Women

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:20:34 -0500

My New Year’s resolution is to help other women.

Just about every woman on the planet needs help with something, I’d like to aim to help at least three in the month of January and keep that trend going for the rest of the year.

If you want to join me, start by sharing this post. Let’s all get in the habit of thinking of how we can better help each other. Women who ask for our help and women who don’t, women we know personally and women we don’t.

This help could take the form of tweeting about something women are doing, giving them legitimate feedback on a project, forwarding them an opportunity or making an introduction on their behalf. It could take the form of overtipping waitresses, hotel housekeepers and bathroom attendants, volunteering at or donating to a women’s organization, or signing and promoting petitions to protect women’s rights.

Let’s start saying yes to other women instead of saying no, which is something that we all seem to hear all the time. Let’s become aware of our power to help others, which is a lot greater than any of us realize. There are a number of reasons to help women, but karma is one. When you help people, others help you. I don’t know why, it’s just a thing that happens.

Happy 2012! Here’s to the best year for women yet…

11 Funny Tweets from 2011

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:12:00 -0500

@mollymcnearney I don’t like that my mom has updated her Facebook page 3 times in the last two days but has not returned my phone call.

@kellyoxford My daydream solution to organizing my house is always arson.

@shinyunicorn ”I’m not sure you should admit that out loud” is probably one of the top five most common things people say to me.

@LexiJulia All the kids who bullied you probably won’t end up pregnant. They’ll just be obnoxious successful adults. #dearyoungself

@JessicaGottlieb I’m always mystified by pedestrians who think I won’t run them over.

@jenstatsky Jury’s still out on you, girls named “Tessa.”

@imaliwaller Stop it, 40-something men who wear hats.

@MissLeslieG: Again, I don’t want to call myself a hero, but I washed my makeup off before bed even though I was really tired.

@emilyheyward “this table assumes a lot of things about the room” - something that a furniture salesman said to me today with a straight face

@shelbyfero “I love reduced fat cream cheese!” - Hitler

@JennyJohnsonHi5 The best part about Thanksgiving is eating until you want to vomit, then murdering someone the next day for a flatscreen. #USA

Submit your own with your Twitter handle in the comments section so we know where to find you.

- @MichelleHaimoff

The Best Thing You've Read All Week, If Not All Year

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 22:46:39 -0500

The Best Thing You've Read All Week, If Not All Year :

Now get on Twitter and tell @hugoschwyzer how wonderful he is.

"No man is in any real physical danger on the internet— or even in real life — from feminists. Women..."

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 22:09:52 -0500

““No man is in any real physical danger on the internet— or even in real life — from feminists. Women are regularly beaten and raped — even on college campuses — but I know of no instance where a man found himself a victim of violence for making a sexist remark in a feminist setting.””

- Hugo Schwyzer, on the use of the term “male bashing”

Is New Girl Getting Better?

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 03:54:00 -0500

I want to like New Girl. I haven’t missed an episode this season. It is kind of funny. It is original. But Zooey Dechanel, or Jess (though it always sounds like she’s saying “Joss!”), so often comes across as a mentally challenged child, that I find the show to be as unbearable as it is entertaining.

Not only does it feel like a live action version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs with Jess as the gang’s merry caretaker, but I don’t like how her guy roommates always seems to make her nervous, like they might actually lose it on her at some point. The way she acts around them reminds me of the way people with explosive significant others act. It’s like she has to constantly diffuse every situation so it doesn’t escalate. Also, I hate that her best friend is a vapid model who none of us would actually be best friends with in real life.

So why do I watch it?

I think the thing that intrigues me about New Girl is that the men are written well. My guy friends are not these guys, but I know these guys. Schmidt and Nick, in particular, are types that exist in real life. If we didn’t live in a world where almost every female character everywhere - in TV, movies, everywhere - was made to look like an annoying idiot, New Girl could probably be a terrific show about male relationships. That’s already what it is about. Look at the title, it’s a show about how Jess affects this group of guys, not how they affect her. If the show was about how the guys affect her, it would be called “New Guys.” To her, they are new. She is only a new girl from their perspective.

Also, I’m curious if Jess’s love interest, Paul, will come back. He seems to be the male equivalent of Jess, which could make the show a little less sexist (if the female characters can’t be strong and confident, throw in a male character who’s weak and insecure). When Paul is around, the other guys have to tame their alpha maleness down a little so they can all look like they’re at least part of the same species.

I’ll continue to watch the show because, unfortunately, we don’t live in a world with an abundance of non-annoying female characters on television. I would love to just watch Parks and Recreation all day too, but Parks and Rec provides a measly 25 minutes of entertainment per week. The average American watches upwards of 30 hours of TV per week, and I love this country enough to at least pull my weight on that one. So New Girl it is. Here’s hoping it continues to get better.

Jewelry Gifts for the Holidays

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 04:01:00 -0500

The holidays are upon us and people are still shopping for last minute gifts!

The following unique pieces of jewelry (and who doesn’t like jewelry?) all come from women-owned super small businesses (except for Roxbury Jewelry, which is owned by my brother and cousin). Amazon has enough business, give these guys a try:

DaisyDreamsinColor Pharoah Earrings $25

MagpieHoney Milk and Cookies necklace $195

Orly Genger by Jaclyn Mayer Sausalito Necklace $245

Roxbury Jewelry 14kt Gold and Diamond Circle Necklace $285

Where Have All The Real Women Gone?

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 02:34:00 -0500

Someone on Facebook just posted this photo again today. For those of you that haven’t seen it, two years ago model Lizzie Miller posed naked for Glamour Magazine looking normal, which is to say she had a gut. It wasn’t strategically hidden. It wasn’t Photoshopped. She had a gut, like pretty much every other woman on the planet. And apparently revealing her gut in one little photo resulted in hundreds of emails and letters pouring in from readers who were thrilled to see fashion magazines finally FINALLY showing real women. Granted Lizzie is gorgeous, but at least she isn’t Photoshopped. At least she doesn’t look like someone who hasn’t eaten in a month.

So here’s my question: Why have we never seen a photo like this since? Clearly women readers want to see guts and stretch marks and cellulite so we don’t have to feel inadequate about our guts and stretch marks and cellulite. Why aren’t women’s magazines giving us what we want? The editorial staffs of fashion magazines are largely female. What are they waiting for?? It’s ridiculous that anyone is still linking to this tired old picture taken two years (eons ago in Internet time). We should have come a long way by now. Hey Glamour, you feature articles about politics and women’s health, you hold Women of the Year Awards, why haven’t you shown any similar images since?

Tweet this post to @GlamourMag. I want some answers.

"You start losing your misogyny when you realize the world is dominated by the messed-up, truly..."

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 02:47:00 -0500

“You start losing your misogyny when you realize the world is dominated by the messed-up, truly fearful rules of men. An important lesson…
-”

- Bret Easton Ellis

8 Obnoxious Cliches about Men, Women and Sex in Otherwise Good TV Shows

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 19:19:15 -0500

8 Obnoxious Cliches about Men, Women and Sex in Otherwise Good TV Shows

I’m so honored to be thanked in this book. It’s...

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 14:20:00 -0500

I’m so honored to be thanked in this book. It’s ideal for anyone who wants to learn the basics of feminism, but doesn’t want to pour over dozens of books to do so.

“Mom in Dog Cage” by Paula Dixon 16x24 in, $675 This...

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:08:00 -0500

“Mom in Dog Cage” by Paula Dixon

16x24 in, $675

This is a portrait of the photographer’s own mother in a cage.

The Importance of Comprehensive Sex Education

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 15:11:36 -0500

The Importance of Comprehensive Sex Education:

Photo from verynoice.com